Articles & News About Family & Children

Children and Soft Addictions

Mild addictions involve any chronic, mindless conduct or mood. Very obvious soft addictions are watching TV, overeating, Internet surfing and video game playing. There are also numerous others existtalking bad about others, fantasizing, working out, feeling sorry for oneself, shopping and the like. Most parents are not worried by this type of conduct, assuming correctly that they are "normal". They become abnormal and detract from your children's growth, however, as soon as they become routine, robbing kids of the time, energy and initiative to participate in more significant activities.

Children need time to be alone so they can reflect and explore. They require freedom to think about what is important in life and to gain knowledge and skills that will allow them to achieve their goals. Soft addictions are foes of thought, discovery and skill development.

The spread of soft addictions has been thoroughly documented by the media. Many of these reports indicates that kids spend more time than they have before in front of computers, TV's and video game screens.

Similar studies reveal a startling percentage of overweight kids, addicted to unhealthy foods including fast food restaurants, obsessed with celebrity worship and fanatical about shopping is also increasing. Parents can have perspective and need to take responsibility for helping their kids manage these soft addictions. All too often, they model the very behaviors that encourage their kids to fall into soft addictions instead. For instance, some parents return home from a day of work and use the majority of their leisure hours watching TV, they eat too much or even work out compulsively, not willing to miss their exercise routine no matter what else is happening in their lives. Other parents are examples of gossiping behaviors, spending hours every week writing and/or calling friends to get the juice on who is fooling around with whom.

I am definitely not saying that parents or their kids quit all their soft addictions at once. Most of us have some addictions. Living a meaningful life is possible when these habits are part of our life, but, they need to be a minor part. We work with many parents who say the same exact thing about their lives: "There must be more than this."

There is! However, they will not uncover it until they use their time and energy on more conscious, fulfilling endeavors. This doesnt go to say that they have to try and save the earth and labor in soup kitchens feeding the hungry (although these are not bad activities. Rediscovering the art of conversation, spending time with friends and loved ones, taking walks in the mountains, expressing their feelings to those they care about, listening to uplifting musicall this can add meaning.

Just as important, it can give a healthy behavioral example for their kids. Kids are wonderful imitators, and softly-addicted parents usually produce softly-addicted kids. It is very hard for parents to tell their kids to quit watching endless amounts of TV when they are guilty of the exact same kind of mindless, habitual behaviors. Parents will find however, that by learning to spend their time more meaningfully, not only will their lives be more satisfying but they will help create more satisfying lives for their kids.

Judith Wright is an author, speaker, life coach, and seminar leader. She teaches workshops to help people overcome soft addictions and creating "More" for twelve years. You may contact her through her Web site at www.theremustbemore.com. See also Buildstar

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